Question:
>hey! i was having a very bad one ..and unable todo anything but try and >somehow get to sleep..so i figured a quick post. >two hours later i woke up and i was finally convinced i was not going to be >able to go without the zoloft. >the effects of stoppin it were awfull! >i felt like i had a large piece of waxpaper in my head for 3 days that >would not stop making noise. >sigh. so i guess we always come back to the begginin huh? >how are you? >harpy
I’m doing better, it’s good to hear from you again, I hope you feel better. I took Zoloft for a little while but it gave me massive headaches. Tell Carla I said Hi. Web Page at: www.robertpo.com For email replies remove the ****
Response:
Vern you fucker you fucked up the 4th of July ASMD picnic, I will never forget about it. I took a bath and washed out my Metallica tee shirt for the big event and you, you fucker fucked the whole thig up, I will never forget you fucked up the ASMD 4th of jul,,,,,,,,,,,,,
Response:
I agree, but then that goes for everyone. -judy
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> x-no-archive: yes > Must someone who has caused havoc because they were manic and losing > control be punished everlastingly, or is Redemption possible? I feel > very, very sorry for people who don’t believe in Redemption. Apparently, > before I got to know many of the people here, Mercer Blues got an itch > to play a head-game. I have no doubt but that he was manic — I love to > play head-games when I’m manic, and at the time I have no doubt that I > am the Grand Master of the head-game. The idea of playing with other > people’s minds is quintessentially manic. > People who cannot grant redemption to those who have sinned against them > have lost their humanity. > Welcome back, dan emmett, AKA Mercer Blues. I’m so very sorry about the > people here who are turning up their noses at you and playing the > superiority game. That old superiority game is pure bullshit, and it’s > touched with the logic of mania as well. > I’ll make a deal with you: I’ll let you make mistakes if you’ll let me > make mistakes. Don’t you feel sorry for people who don’t make mistakes? > Who was it that said: ‘To err is human, to forgive, Divine’?
Response:
Vern, First off good it is damn good to be back….I am here to stay,as time permits, but at at least for awhile…..your kind words of support and understanding are appreciated. Redemption. I am not sure I deserve redemption, not yet anyway,, however I do believe we as BP’s do some pretty wierd things when we are manic…..and we should keep that in mind that "Mind games, as you put it, are manisfitations of our illness. Last year…..well let’s just say I was not in control. I realize that now but the damage I caused was undoable. At least at that time. I have regrets, I feel remorse….I feel guilt and even anger with myself for the way I behaved…..so perhaps for me redemption is not an option. I need to earn it. I am still not all that sure that I will ever be able to forgive myself……given the nature of some of vicious posts and emails I have received. But I also found an equal amount of people who like yourself are willing to risk…..and for that I am grateful. Something about hindsight being 20/20 comes to mind. I am not after redemption…..forgivenes I am hoping will come in time and that those whom I have hurt can manage to keep an open mind and an open heart….I did F–k up big time. But i feel I have paid my dues…so to speak…. Let the punishment fit the crime kind….but to be forever banished does seem to be a bit harse….especially when you consider my mental state at that time. I guess I am pleading insanity….. Redemption…is a wonderful word. I hope to be able, over time, to "earn" or to "reearn" the right to be redeemed…to be able to reestablish at least some credibility, some level of trust and hopefully make amends to the best of my abiltity. I know it will take time and faith….and most important "hope" that my brothers and sisters with BP can keep an open mind and at the very least afford me with the opportunity to "prove" that I do have some valid, relevant views, knowledge and opinions to share. Perhaps I will be able to help someone avoid the same pitfalls and mind games I was forced to play as a result of my illness. I am only asking for a chance….no more, no less. Thanks for your support… Stay well and best wishes…. regards, dan_emmett AKA Mercer BLues – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > : x-no-archive: yes > : > : Must someone who has caused havoc because they were manic and losing > : control be punished everlastingly, or is Redemption possible? I feel > : very, very sorry for people who don’t believe in Redemption. > Apparently, > : before I got to know many of the people here, Mercer Blues got an itch > : to play a head-game. I have no doubt but that he was manic — I love > to > : play head-games when I’m manic, and at the time I have no doubt that I > : am the Grand Master of the head-game. The idea of playing with other > : people’s minds is quintessentially manic. > : > : People who cannot grant redemption to those who have sinned against > them > : have lost their humanity. > : > : Welcome back, dan emmett, AKA Mercer Blues. I’m so very sorry about > the > : people here who are turning up their noses at you and playing the > : superiority game. That old superiority game is pure bullshit, and it’s > : touched with the logic of mania as well. > : > : I’ll make a deal with you: I’ll let you make mistakes if you’ll let me > : make mistakes. Don’t you feel sorry for people who don’t make > mistakes? > : > : Who was it that said: ‘To err is human, to forgive, Divine’? > What about my redemption, your grace? > Vern (the unforgiven) > :
Before you buy.
Response:
: x-no-archive: yes
: > : > What about my redemption, your grace? : > : > Vern (the unforgiven) : > : : Truthfully, I had no idea that you were in need of redemption. You made : a couple of posts that annoyed me, but I hadn’t realized that was a sin. : I can’t be expected to react the way people want me to. I am anything : but perfect. Chill out, Vern, I bear you no ill-will. Free at last! Free at last! Holy shit, Free at last!!! The spirit of ASDM has moved, like the "spirit in the sky" (not 76 either) Struck has struck and I is Free at last!!! How long do you suppose it will last, the redemption I mean???? Now I am feeling worried again. Was I really saved or merely cajooled by a buddha buddy. Vern (in purgatory?)
Response:
Billy, Sorry to hear about your needlesly taking a bath and having to go to all the trouble of having to wash your t-shirt. Overall I think your post was well said…well put, obviously you went to a great deal of trouble. Sorry to hear all of your hard work was in vain, but have security in the knowledge that there will be other 4th of July parties, hopefully then maybe all of your hard work at taking a bath and putting on clean clothes will not go uunnoticed. I know I will appreciate your effort. My condolences…. regards, dan_emmett AKA Mercer Blues > Vern you fucker you fucked up the 4th of July ASMD picnic, I will never > forget about it. I took a bath and washed out my Metallica tee shirt for > the big event and you, you fucker fucked the whole thig up, I will never > forget you fucked up the ASMD 4th of jul,,,,,,,,,,,,,
Before you buy.
Response:
I try and forget and forget but like it says in the song on the radio, You can’t unfuck a dead moose. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – >Billy, >Sorry to hear about your needlesly taking a bath and having to go to >all the trouble of having to wash your t-shirt. >Overall I think your post was well said…well put, >obviously you went to a great deal of trouble. >Sorry to hear all of your hard work was in vain, but have security in >the knowledge that there will be other 4th of July parties, hopefully >then maybe all of your hard work at taking a bath and putting on clean >clothes will not go uunnoticed. >I know I will appreciate your effort. >My condolences…. >regards, >dan_emmett >AKA Mercer Blues > Vern you fucker you fucked up the 4th of July ASMD picnic, I will >never > forget about it. I took a bath and washed out my Metallica tee shirt >for > the big event and you, you fucker fucked the whole thig up, I will >never > forget you fucked up the ASMD 4th of jul,,,,,,,,,,,,, >Before you buy.
Response:
: : : Vern, : First off good it is damn good to be back….I am here to stay,as time : permits, but at at least for awhile….. Dan, one of your posts was probably the first I ever read here at ASDM. I was amazed and may I add humbled at the way your words and ideas flowed so smoothly to paint your message. Even up until the time that you went away……remember the canoe trip on the river, wow what a sight to read! People make a fuss about the things they believe important, I guess you could call me in the biblical sense "lukewarm" about many things, except about the way *I* feel and my own hide (editorial priviledge here) We never were drinking buddies, but I felt it unfortunate that you went away. You are back, I am as I said lukewarm by nature. Enjoy yourself, you need not feel there is anyone here worthy to forgive anyone else. This is a forum for people with mental illnesses that directly affect our brains mood centers, and by way of that our judgement from time to time. For we who suffer this quirk of nature, this is home. It should be a safe place to share ideas and seek help, and most of all to be ourselves, warts and all. Vern
Response:
hey! i was having a very bad one ..and unable todo anything but try and somehow get to sleep..so i figured a quick post. two hours later i woke up and i was finally convinced i was not going to be able to go without the zoloft. the effects of stoppin it were awfull! i felt like i had a large piece of waxpaper in my head for 3 days that would not stop making noise. sigh. so i guess we always come back to the begginin huh? how are you? harpy
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->> I try and forget and forget but like it says in the song on the radio, >You >> YEA..MAYBE NOT…BUT THIS "TROLL" WOULD LOVE TO SEE YOU TRY. >ANYAYS..IM NOT REALLY A TROLL..FAILED ALL MY TRO;; EXAMS..BUT MAYBE >SOMEDAY..THEY TOLD ME IVE SLAYED TOO MANY TO BE ONE. > Hey harp man what’s up? How are you doing? > Web Page at: www.robertpo.com > For email replies remove the ****
Response:
One cannot even think about unfucking a dead moose let alone try it??? – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> I try and forget and forget but like it says in the song on the radio, >You > YEA..MAYBE NOT…BUT THIS "TROLL" WOULD LOVE TO SEE YOU TRY. >ANYAYS..IM NOT REALLY A TROLL..FAILED ALL MY TRO;; EXAMS..BUT MAYBE >SOMEDAY..THEY TOLD ME IVE SLAYED TOO MANY TO BE ONE.
Response:
>> I try and forget and forget but like it says in the song on the radio, >You > YEA..MAYBE NOT…BUT THIS "TROLL" WOULD LOVE TO SEE YOU TRY. >ANYAYS..IM NOT REALLY A TROLL..FAILED ALL MY TRO;; EXAMS..BUT MAYBE >SOMEDAY..THEY TOLD ME IVE SLAYED TOO MANY TO BE ONE.
Hey harp man what’s up? How are you doing? Web Page at: www.robertpo.com For email replies remove the ****
Response:
> I try and forget and forget but like it says in the song on the radio, You > YEA..MAYBE NOT…BUT THIS "TROLL" WOULD LOVE TO SEE YOU TRY.
ANYAYS..IM NOT REALLY A TROLL..FAILED ALL MY TRO;; EXAMS..BUT MAYBE SOMEDAY..THEY TOLD ME IVE SLAYED TOO MANY TO BE ONE.
Response:
Hey Bruce! Good to see ya! – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> I try and forget and forget but like it says in the song on the radio, >You > YEA..MAYBE NOT…BUT THIS "TROLL" WOULD LOVE TO SEE YOU TRY. >ANYAYS..IM NOT REALLY A TROLL..FAILED ALL MY TRO;; EXAMS..BUT MAYBE >SOMEDAY..THEY TOLD ME IVE SLAYED TOO MANY TO BE ONE.
Response:
: x-no-archive: yes : : Must someone who has caused havoc because they were manic and losing : control be punished everlastingly, or is Redemption possible? I feel : very, very sorry for people who don’t believe in Redemption. Apparently, : before I got to know many of the people here, Mercer Blues got an itch : to play a head-game. I have no doubt but that he was manic — I love to : play head-games when I’m manic, and at the time I have no doubt that I : am the Grand Master of the head-game. The idea of playing with other : people’s minds is quintessentially manic. : : People who cannot grant redemption to those who have sinned against them : have lost their humanity. : : Welcome back, dan emmett, AKA Mercer Blues. I’m so very sorry about the : people here who are turning up their noses at you and playing the : superiority game. That old superiority game is pure bullshit, and it’s : touched with the logic of mania as well. : : I’ll make a deal with you: I’ll let you make mistakes if you’ll let me : make mistakes. Don’t you feel sorry for people who don’t make mistakes? : : Who was it that said: ‘To err is human, to forgive, Divine’? What about my redemption, your grace? Vern (the unforgiven) :